dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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