I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
