after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You made out with two different species that night
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
