Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
