but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
