dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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