I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
