So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
