Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
