I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
