Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
