he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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