I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
