I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
