his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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