um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize