It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
