So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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