the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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