Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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