i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
