Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
