I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
