THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
