I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
