We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
