is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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