Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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