I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize