fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
