All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
