just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
