well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
