i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
