she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
