Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
NoShamevember. You game?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
