He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
