11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He kissed a someone with a penis
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
