Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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