I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
