Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
