so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
