i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
