Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
