I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
