Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
