I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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