yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
