We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
