if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
