kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
