I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
