He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
