We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
