I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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