I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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