people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize