i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
