i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
