My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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