the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
