my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
