ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
