Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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