You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
