first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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