if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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