the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
