Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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