Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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