Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
