How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
