Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
