I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sext me about skeletons
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
