that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize