No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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